However, I have had time to check out Jonathan Ames’ reading at Bookcourt, listen to the new TV on the Radio albumDEAR SCIENCE (yes, it’s as good as everyone says), and remember why I only vaguely liked Juliana Hatfield back in the day.
1. Jonathan Ames’ new book–his first graphic novel– THE ALCOHOLIC is a collaboration with comic artist Dean Haspiel and it is sure to be as excellent as his fantastic Wodehouse satire Wake Up Sir! (also about a hapless but fiendishly intelligent and funny alcoholic writer). Ames has the ability to be hilariously uncouth, irreverent, sexually candid and even a bit perverted without ever coming off as a scary guy. No, he’s actually kind of lovable; a small, awkwardly deadpan guy who somehow fell off the wagon of intellectualism and ended up at AA meetings in the East Village. You know, like someone you might want to hug even if he smelled of shit or tranny bars. He also dates Fiona Apple (!!!).
2. Gossip Girl’s hot dad Rufus brings me to 90’s nostalgia every day. I wouldn’t be surprised then if Juliana Hatfield–who just penned her own memoir–makes an appearance on the show when Rufus’s band puts out a new reunion album. She did guest star as a homeless girl ghost in Doc Martins on My So-Called Life, the first most important show ever of my life (ok, second:first would bethe Baudrillard-esque girl rocker cartoon Jem). Anyhow Hatfield’s memoir sounds pretty boring, but it’s charmingly Ethan Hawke-ish to hear her talk about not ever being able to sell out on this Salon.com interview. Then you can go and read her blog about her music….Ok, I’m gonna stop being snotty now but, ah wait, …its time for an excerpt from the memoir!
Sam was ten years younger than I was, a talented (but penniless) guitar player, singer and songwriter. When we started dating I said to myself, “Haven’t I learned anything from my mistakes? I’m an idiot — a fool — to get involved with Sam, another cute, poor guy in a band, and so much younger than me on top of that…..I even told Sam my prediction: “Sam, you’re gonna leave me for a model one day. Just wait.” I would repeat this every few weeks, as a way to preemptively save face — to let Sam know in advance of when it happened that I’d seen it coming; so that when he dumped me, I could pretend it wasn’t a shock, or a big deal, or a humiliation, and that I had even had a hand in my destiny.
Sheesh, this is almost as lame as Dan Humphrey’s short stories.
This is great. Bryan and I were having drinks in our liberal homeland of Park Slope and both admitted WE CANT THINK ABOUT ANYTHING BUT THE ELECTION. I’m sorry guys–promise another indie rock/dissing NYTimes coverage of youth culture/NPR loving post soon.
And now for 5 counts of sexism on the side of the GOP:
**thanks Kristen for this amazing piece of mash up work. It’s like Girl Talk for politics.
Obama becomes president in a tight raise thanks to Ohio going Blue.
However, the first four years are tough and not that much progress is made except for health care reform (yes!). We painfully pull out of Iraq, slowly and no, it’s not easy. More Americans die serving as a reminder NEVER AGAIN should we wage preemptive war. Obama gets reelected, even though he has not delivered the immense change promised (this is truly impossible–but who are we to criticize lofty ambitions?). Why? Well, the Republicans nominate Mitt Romney and half-way through election it turns out he has been boinking little boys, some of which are actually in his family since his family is, oh yes, that big.
Obama wins by landslide.
7 years later (2015):
The economy is booming, the war in Iraq is finished (although that nation is left in complete ruin, like Lebanon in the 80’s), relations are good with China and with Russia ($$$ does make the world go round) and gay marriage is an amendment. Pro Choice Supreme Court judges outnumber Pro Life (that’s a long stretch, I know)
Meanwhile, Sarah Palin is in jail for tax fraud. Her excuse? “God told me to save that money from this demon-invested federal government and put it towards freeing Alaska from the lower 48.” Those lower 48 states didn’t really find that to be a valid excuse. John McCain died in 2010 in his sleep. He took some Lunesta and just never work up, so rest assured he wasn’t dreaming about that POW camp. In fact he was found with that weird smile he always has clinched on his face when he tries to hang out with poor people. Cindy has since remarried. Oh and Karl Rove, well he got Alzheimer’s in 2010 and spent 5 years loosing that mind that so tightly wound this country into the mess it was in the 00s. He’s currently hitting effigies of Hillary Clinton (which someone found at an antique store) with a stick in his living room. Bush is riding horses in Texas and has a significant problem with Valium but at this point who cares if he’s stoned out of his mind? Hillary is being called the “Ted Kennedy of the new millennium”—keeping Liberal Democracy alive with an iron fist in Congress.
Oh and in 2015 we’ll be making enough money to enjoy/capitalize on the economic boom brought on by Obama just the way my father was able to send me to college because he invested during the awesomely fruitful mid-Clinton years. I hope to be in a house with solar panels so I’ll never see another gas bill again.
I am so fucking sick of Sarah Palin and her bad hair and her scary hybrid of hometown politics and KKKhristiananity. So, let’s talk about Lilo and Ronson at the tents at Mercedes-Benz New York Fashion Week Spring 2009 in Bryant Park. What else? Too much rock spawn–including the return of Kelly Osborn (skinny!), Perry Ferrell (blech), and a lot of Gossip Girl. Fuck talking–let’s look!
Paul Banks (of Interpol) with Helena Christianson. Even rock stars with adolescent acne can hang with models.
Rock star spawn sighting 1. Peaches Geldof who wore that dumb headband all week
Rock star spawn 2. Dj Sam Ronson (and Shane from the L Word doppelganger) and “gal pal” LiLo at sis Charlotte Ronson’s show
Rock spawn 3: Daughter who once was popular in pop music herself–well, sorta, like with people who have moved on to My Chemical Romance these days–Kelly Osbourne, now slimmed down and with model beau
Finally the most tragic rock star (really a rock GOD) spawn: Sean Lennon, why? Why? Was the breakup with Miho Hatori that bad? Did you trade weights with Kelly Osborne? Did you eat the other half of her at a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame afterparty?
Speaking of Rock Stars, Mick Rock and Perry Farrell at the old CBGB’s space which is now John Varvatos’s store. Dear god, Ferrall, come on just give up. They already talk about you (and your old band, Jane’s Addiction) used to tour with the parents on Gossip Girl back in the 80s when the hot dad’s band was big. This means it’s time to retire and have spawn who will grow up to go to fashion shows.
Finally, MK got her way and made everyone else get up and move because she needed to sit next to Chase Crawford and Jessica Szor from Gossip Girl. Man, Gossip Girl peeps be all over fashion week. Hmm, actors who play rich young fashionable aristocrats in New York society become actual rich young fashionable aristocrats in New York society–how fucking meta.
Photos courtesy of New York Magazine’s coverage (all photos from Getty and Patrick McMullin)
Were the 80’s really that bad? Good question. I, of course, would say no no no no….but then again I was 3 in 1985. I also dressed like Cyndi Lauper with an Emily Dickinson fetish, uh, so there again, I am not the most unbiased candidate for this question.
Why then do I ask? Well, I ask this question after listening to the All Music Considered’s excellent “The 80 ’s: Were They Really that Bad?” show from Tuesday featuring Sleater-Kinney genious guitarist/smart NPR blogger/the only girl I’d leave my boyfriend for CARRIE BROWNSTEIN. Now I’ve got big hair on my mind and the lady question thanks to Palin (see post below), so Carrie Brownstein talking about the 80’s (and namechecking New Zealand bands like The Bats and The Clean) is kinda all I need. Oh yes, this easily downloadable goodie might be the RNC antidote I need today.
Also I’m feeling analogy-centric, so I’ve created an analogy list of 80’s to 00’s music.
1. New still-under-the-radar Brooklyn band Crystal Stilts is to (brilliantly underrated) Chameleons UK as maudlin is to monotone (singing, that is).
2. Fey gay cellist Arthur Russell’s 80’s art disco is to Antony (of Antony and the Johnsons) singing with neo-disco band Hercules & Love Affair as lost dreams is to body glitter on a dancing man at the Cock on a friday night.
3. Siouxsie and the Banshees is to new electro Manchesterites the Tings Tings as Sofia Coppola film soundtracks are to iPod commercials.
4. Screamadelica-era Primal Scream is to MGMT as vintage is to H&M knockoffs.
Man oh man, are things bad. I agree with Joan Walsh on Salon that Palin’s no victim. I also agree that attacking her is bad for us (Obama Democrats), but I couldn’t resist posting this. It’s just uncanny! Sadly, the Republican Convention does not have the kickass 80’s soundtrack that Donnie Darko has.
And Palin’s “Bridge to nowhere?” I just keep hearing in my head “We’re on a road to nowhere…” thank you, David Byrne.
